Chapter 1

 

   BILL’S STORY

 

WAR FEVER ran high in the New England town

to which we new, young officers from Platts-

burg were assigned, and we were flattered when the

first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel

heroic. Here was love, applause, war; moments sub-

lime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last,

and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor.

I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my

people concerning drink. In time we sailed for “Over

There.’’ I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol.

   We landed in England. I visited Winchester Cathe-

dral. Much moved, I wandered outside. My attention

was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone:

 

          “Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier

 Who caught his death

 Drinking cold small beer.

 A good soldier is ne’er forgot

 Whether he dieth by musket

 Or by pot.”

 

   Ominous warning-which I failed to heed.

   Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went

home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the

men of my battery given me a special token of appre-

ciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would

place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would

manage with the utmost assurance.

 

 2  BILL'S STORY

 

   I took a night law course, and obtained employment

as investigator for a surety company. The drive for

success was on. I’d prove to the world I was impor-

tant. My work took me about Wall Street and little by

little I became interested in the market. Many people

lost money-but some became very rich. Why not I?

I studied economics and business as well as law. Po-

tential alcoholic that I was, I nearly failed my law

course.

   (See BB xxix:3 - xxx Top, 5:3, 174:2)

    At one of the finals I was too drunk to think or

write. Though my drinking was not yet continuous, it

disturbed my wife. We had long talks when I would

still her forebodings by telling her that men of genius

conceived their best projects when drunk; that the

most majestic constructions of philosophic thought

were so derived.

   By the time I had completed the course, I knew the

law was not for me. The inviting maelstrom of Wall

Street had me in its grip. Business and financial lead-

ers were my heroes. Out of this alloy of drink and

speculation, I commenced to forge the weapon that

one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang and

all but cut me to ribbons. Living modestly, my wife

and I saved $1,000. It went into certain securities,

then cheap and rather unpopular. I rightly imagined

that they would some day have a great rise. I failed to

persuade my broker friends to send me out looking

over factories and managements, but my wife and I de-

cided to go anyway. I had developed a theory that

most people lost money in stocks through ignorance

of markets. I discovered many more reasons later on.

   We gave up our positions and off we roared on a

motorcycle, the sidecar stuffed with tent, blankets, a

change of clothes, and three huge volumes of a finan-

 

  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS 3

 

cial reference service. Our friends thought a lunacy

commission should be appointed. Perhaps they were

right. I had had some success at speculation, so we

had a little money, but we once worked on a farm for

a month to avoid drawing on our small capital. That

was the last honest manual labor on my part for many

a day. We covered the whole eastern United States in

a year. At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street

procured me a position there and the use of a large ex-

pense account. The exercise of an option brought in

more money, leaving us with a profit of several thou-

sand dollars for that year.

   For the next few years fortune threw money and ap-

plause my way. I had arrived. My judgment and

ideas were followed by many to the tune of paper mil-

lions. The great boom of the late twenties was seeth-

ing and swelling. Drink was taking an important and

exhilarating part in my life. There was loud talk in

the jazz places uptown. Everyone spent in thousands

and chattered in millions. Scoffers could scoff and be

damned. I made a host of fair-weather friends.

 

       The overconfi-

  dence of youth was too much for us. Of course, we were

  glad that good home and religious training had given us

  certain values. We were still sure that we ought to be fairly

  honest, tolerant, and just, that we ought to be ambitious and

  hardworking. We became convinced that such simple rules

  of fair play and decency would be enough.

     “As material success founded upon no more than these

  ordinary attributes began to come to us, we felt we were

  winning at the game of life. This was exhilarating, and it

  made us happy. Why should we be bothered with theologi-

  cal abstractions and religious duties, or with the state of our

  souls here or hereafter? The here and now was good

  enough for us. The will to win would carry us through. But

  then alcohol began to have its way with us.

   T&T 28-29  Step Two

 

   My drinking assumed more serious proportions, con-

tinuing all day and almost every night. The remon-

strances of my friends terminated in a row and I

became a lone wolf. There were many unhappy scenes

in our sumptuous apartment. There had been no real

infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times by

extreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes.

   In 1929 I contracted golf fever. We went at once

to the country, my wife to applaud while I started out

to overtake Walter Hagen. Liquor caught up with me

much faster than I came up behind Walter. I began

to be jittery in the morning. Golf permitted drinking

 

 4  BILL’S STORY

 

every day and every night. It was fun to carom around

the exclusive course which had inspired such awe in

me as a lad. I acquired the impeccable coat of tan

one sees upon the well-to-do. The local banker

watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with

amused skepticism.

   Abruptly in October 1929 hell broke loose on the

New York stock exchange. After one of those days of

inferno, I wobbled from a hotel bar to a brokerage

office. It was eight o’clock-five hours after the market

closed. The ticker still clattered. I was staring at an

inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. It

had been 52 that morning. I was finished and so were

many friends. The papers reported men jumping to

death from the towers of High Finance. That dis-

gusted me. I would not jump. I went back to the bar.

My friends had dropped several million since ten

o’clock-so what? Tomorrow was another day. As I

drank, the old fierce determination to win came back.

   Next morning I telephoned a friend in Montreal.

He had plenty of money left and thought I had better

go to Canada. By the following spring we were living

in our accustomed style. I felt like Napoleon returning

from Elba. No St. Helena for me! But drinking caught

up with me again and my generous friend had to let

me go. This time we stayed broke.

   We went to live with my wife’s parents. I found a

job; then lost it as the result of a brawl with a taxi

driver.

   (See BB 106:2)

 Mercifully, no one could guess that I was to

have no real employment for five years, or hardly draw

a sober breath. My wife began to work in a depart-

ment store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk.

 

 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS  5

 

I became an unwelcome hanger-on at brokerage

places.

   (See BB 110 Top)

   Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity.

“Bathtub’’ gin, two bottles a day, and often three, got

to be routine. Sometimes a small deal would net a few

hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars

and delicatessens. This went on endlessly, and I began

to waken very early in the morning shaking violently.

A tumbler full of gin followed by half a dozen bottles

of beer would be required if I were to eat any break-

fast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the

situation, and there were periods of sobriety which

renewed my wife’s hope.

   Gradually things got worse. The house was taken

over by the mortgage holder, my mother-in-law died,

my wife and father-in-law became ill.

   Then I got a promising business opportunity. Stocks

were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow

formed a group to buy. I was to share generously in

the profits. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and

that chance vanished.

   (See BB xxix:3 - xxx Top, 2:1, 174:2)

   I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could

not take so much as one drink. I was through forever.

Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but

my wife happily observed that this time I meant busi-

ness. And so I did.   (See BB 105:2)

   Shortly afterward I came home drunk.

   (See BB 107:2)

             There had

been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I

simply didn’t know. It hadn’t even come to mind.

Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken

it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an ap-

palling lack of perspective seemed near being just that.

   (See BB 37:1, 40:2, 66:1)

   Renewing my resolve, I tried again. Some time

 

  BILL’S STORY   6

 

passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cock-

sureness. I could laugh at the gin mills. Now I had

what it takes!

   (See BB 151 Bottom)

   One day I walked into a cafe to tele-

phone. In no time I was beating on the bar asking my-

self how it happened. As the whisky rose to my head

I told myself I would manage better next time, but I

might as well get good and drunk then. And I did.    (See BB 24:3)

   The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next

morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle

was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and

there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I

hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run

down by an early morning truck, for it was scarcely

daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen

glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last.

A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell

again. Well, so had I. The market would recover, but

I wouldn’t. That was a hard thought. Should I kill

myself? No-not now. Then a mental fog settled

down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and-

oblivion.

   The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for

mine endured this agony two more years. Sometimes

I stole from my wife’s slender purse when the morning

terror and madness were on me. Again I swayed diz-

zily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet

where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling.

There were flights from city to country and back, as

my wife and I sought escape. Then came the night

when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I

feared I would burst through my window, sash and

all. Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to a

lower floor, lest I suddenly leap. A doctor came with

 

 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS 7

 

a heavy sedative. Next day found me drinking both

gin and sedative. This combination soon landed me

on the rocks. People feared for my sanity. So did I.

I could eat little or nothing when drinking, and I was

forty pounds under weight.

   My brother-in-law is a physician, and through his

kindness and that of my mother I was placed in a na-

tionally-known hospital for the mental and physical

rehabilitation of alcoholics. Under the so-called bella-

donna treatment my brain cleared. Hydrotherapy and

mild exercise helped much. Best of all, I met a kind

doctor who explained that though certainly selfish and

foolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally.

   It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics

the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to com-

bating liquor, though it often remains strong in other

respects.

   (See BB xxx:4, 21:2,22:2, 107:3)

      My incredible behavior in the face of a

desperate desire to stop was explained. Understand-

ing myself now, I fared forth in high hope. For three

or four months the goose hung high. I went to town

regularly and even made a little money. Surely this

was the answer-self-knowledge.  (See BB 26:1, 39:1, 40:2, 42 Top)

   But it was not, for the frightful day came when I

drank once more. The curve of my declining moral

and bodily health fell off like a ski-jump. After a time

I returned to the hospital. This was the finish, the cur-

tain, it seemed to me. My weary and despairing wife

was informed that it would all end with heart failure

during delirium tremens, or I would develop a wet

brain, perhaps within a year. She would soon have to

give me over to the undertaker or the asylum.

   They did not need to tell me. I knew, and almost

welcomed the idea. It was a devastating blow to my

 

 8 BILL’S STORY

  

pride. I, who had thought so well of myself and my

abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was

cornered at last. Now I was to plunge into the dark,

joining that endless procession of sots who had gone

on before. I thought of my poor wife. There had been

much happiness after all. What would I not give to

make amends. But that was over now.

   No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I

found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand

stretched around me in all directions. I had met my

match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my

master.  (See BB 29:3, 30:2, 59 Step 1)

   Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken

man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidi-

ous insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day

1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to

the certainty that I would have to be shut up some-

where, or would stumble along to a miserable end.

How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was

the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be

catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension

of existence.

   (See BB 25:1)

   I was to know happiness, peace, and

usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more

wonderful as time passes.

   Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking

in my kitchen. With a certain satisfaction I reflected

there was enough gin concealed about the house to

carry me through that night and the next day. My

wife was at work. I wondered whether I dared hide a

full bottle of gin near the head of our bed. I would

need it before daylight.

   My musing was interrupted by the telephone. The

cheery voice of an old school friend asked if he might

 

 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS  9

 

come over. He was sober. It was years since I could re-

member his coming to New York in that condition. I

was amazed. Rumor had it that he had been commit-

ted for alcoholic insanity. I wondered how he had es-

caped. Of course he would have dinner, and then I

could drink openly with him. Unmindful of his wel-

fare, I thought only of recapturing the spirit of other

days. There was that time we had chartered an air-

plane to complete a jag! His coming was an oasis in

this dreary desert of futility. The very thing-an oasis!

Drinkers are like that.

   The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned

and glowing. There was something about his eyes. He

was inexplicably different. What had happened?

I pushed a drink across the table. He refused it.

Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got

into the fellow. He wasn’t himself.

   “Come, what’s all this about?’’ I queried.

   He looked straight at me. Simply, but smilingly, he

said, “I’ve got religion.’’

   I was aghast. So that was it-last summer an alco-

holic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about

religion. He had that starry-eyed look. Yes, the old

boy was on fire all right. But bless his heart, let him

rant! Besides, my gin would last longer than his

preaching.

   But he did no ranting. In a matter of fact way he

told how two men had appeared in court, persuading

the judge to suspend his commitment. They had told

of a simple religious idea and a practical program of

action. That was two months ago and the result was

self-evident. It worked!

   He had come to pass his experience along to me-if

 

 10  Bill's Story

 

I cared to have it. I was shocked, but interested. Cer-

tainly I was interested. I had to be, for I was hopeless.

   He talked for hours. Childhood memories rose be-

fore me. I could almost hear the sound of the preach-

er’s voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on

the hillside; there was that proffered temperance

pledge I never signed; my grandfather’s good natured

contempt of some church folk and their doings; his

insistence that the spheres really had their music; but

his denial of the preacher’s right to tell him how he

must listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things

just before he died; these recollections welled up from

the past. They made me swallow hard.

   That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral

came back again.

   I had always believed in a Power greater than my-

self. I had often pondered these things. I was not an

atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind

faith in the strange proposition that this universe orig-

inated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My

intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even

the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at

work.

 

  The sponsor continues, “Take, for example, my own

  case. I had a scientific schooling. Naturally I respected,

  venerated, even worshiped science. As a matter of fact, I

  still do- all except the worship part.    

   T&T 26-27  Step Two

 

 Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt

that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How

could there be so much of precise and immutable law,

and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit

of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation.

But that was as far as I had gone.

 

    Sometimes we took a slightly different tack. Sure, we

  said to ourselves, the hen probably did come before the

  egg. No doubt the universe had a “first cause” of some sort,

  the God of the Atom, maybe, hot and cold by turns. But

  certainly there wasn't any evidence of a God who knew or

  cared about human beings.

   T&T 97  Step Eleven

 

  

   

   With ministers, and the world’s religions, I parted

right there. When they talked of a God personal to

me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction,

I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against

such a theory.    (See BB 48 Top)

  

 

 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS 11

 

   To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man,

not too closely followed by those who claimed Him.

His moral teaching-most excellent. For myself, I had

adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not

too difficult; the rest I disregarded.

   The wars which had been fought, the burnings and

chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made

me sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the

religions of mankind had done any good. Judging

from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power

of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brother-

hood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he

seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me.

   (See BB  46 top)

 

      We gloated over the

  hypocrisy, bigotry, and crushing self-righteousness that

  clung to so many 'believers' even in their Sunday best. How

  we loved to shout the damaging fact that millions of the

  'good men of religion' were still killing one another off in

  the name of God. This all meant, of course, that we had

  substituted negative for positive thinking.

   T&T 30  Step Two

 

     Many of us had strong logic,

  too, which “proved” there was no God whatever. What

  about all the accidents, sickness, cruelty, and injustice in the

  world? What about all those unhappy lives which were the

  direct result of unfortunate birth and uncontrollable circum-

  stances? Surely there could be no justice in this scheme of

  things, and therefore no God at all.

   T&T 96-97  Step Eleven

 

   But my friend sat before me, and he made the point-

blank declaration that God had done for him what he

could not do for himself.

   (See BB 25:2, 84 Top [12])

          His human will had failed.

Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was

about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted

complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised

from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to

a level of life better than the best he had ever known!

   Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had

not. There had been no more power in him than there

was in me at that minute; and this was none at all.

   That floored me. It began to look as though reli-

gious people were right after all. Here was something

at work in a human heart which had done the impos-

sible. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised

right then. Never mind the musty past; here sat a

miracle directly across the kitchen table. He shouted

great tidings.

   (See BB 133:1, 153:1, 161 Top)

   I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly

 

 12  BILL’S STORY

 

reorganized. He was on a different footing. His roots

grasped a new soil.

   Despite the living example of my friend there rep

mained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The

word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the

thought was expressed that there might be a God per-

sonal to me this feeling was intensified.

   (See BB 45:3)

              I didn’t like

the idea. I could go for such conceptions as Creative

Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I

resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however

loving His sway might be. I have since talked with

scores of men who felt the same way.

   My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea.

He said, “Why don’t you choose your own conception

of God?’’

   (See BB 47:1)

   That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intel-

lectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and

shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

   It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a

Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required

of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could

start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete

willingness

   (See BB 47:2)

         I might build what I saw in my friend.

Would I have it? Of course I would!

   (See BB 58:2)  

   Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us

humans when we want Him enough. At long last I

saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice

fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathe-

dral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed

and wanted God. There had been a humble willing-

ness to have Him with me-and He came.

   (See BB 46 Bottom)

      But soon

the sense of His presence had been blotted out by

 

 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS   13

 

worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so

it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

   (See BB 55:1)

   At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the

last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs

of delirium tremens.

   There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then

understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed

myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I

admitted for the first time that of myself I was noth-

ing; that without Him I was lost.

   (See BB 59 Step 3, 63:1)

          I ruthlessly faced my

sins

   (See BB 59 Step 4, 64:2)

        and became willing to have my new-found Friend

take them away, root and branch.

   (See BB 59 Step 6-7, 76:1-2)

     I have not had a

drink since.

  

   My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted

him with my problems and deficiencies.

   (See BB 59 Step 5, 72:1)

      We made a

list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resent-

ment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach

these individuals, admitting my wrong.

   (See BB 49 Step 8, 76:3)

           Never was I

to be critical of them. (See BB 78 Top)

               I was to right all such matters

to the utmost of my ability. (See BB 59 Step 9, 76:4)

   I was to test my thinking by the new God-conscious-

ness within.

   (See BB 59 Step 10, 84:2)

           Common sense would thus become un-

common sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt,

asking only for direction and strength to meet my

problems as He would have me.

   (See BB 87:1)

             Never was I to pray

for myself, except as my requests bore on my useful-

ness to others. Then only might I expect to receive.

But that would be in great measure.

   (See BB 87:1)

   My friend promised when these things were done I

would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator;

that I would have the elements of a way of living

which answered all my problems. Belief in the power

of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility

 

 14  BILL’S STORY

 

to establish and maintain the new order of things, were

the essential requirements.

   (See BB 163:2, 568:3)

   Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It

meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn

in all things to the Father of Light who presides over

us all.

   (See BB 42:2, 155:2)

   These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but

the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was elec-

tric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a

peace and serenity as I had never known. There was

utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great

clean wind of a mountain top blew through and

through. God comes to most men gradually, but His

impact on me was sudden and profound.

   (See BB 57:2, 567:4)

   For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend,

the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in

wonder as I talked.

   Finally he shook his head saying, “Something has

happened to you I don’t understand. But you had

better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way

you were.” The good doctor now sees many men who

have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

   While I lay in the hospital the thought came that

there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might

be glad to have what had been so freely given me.

Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn

might work with others.

   My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of

demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Par-

ticularly was it imperative to work with others as he

had worked with me.

   (See BB 59 Step 12, 89:1)

   Faith without works was dead,

he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic!

For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his

 

 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS 15

  

spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others,

he could not survive the certain trials and low spots

ahead.

   (See BB 35:3)

   If he did not work, he would surely drink

again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith

would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.

   (See BB 88:3, 89:1)

   My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthus-

iasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution

of their problems. It was fortunate, for my old busi-

ness associates remained skeptical for a year and a

half, during which I found little work. I was not too

well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-

pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me

back to drink, but I soon found that when all other

measures failed, work with another alcoholic would

save the day.

   (See BB 14 Bottom, 89:1, 159:2, 181 Reason 4)

  Many times I have gone to my old hos-

pital in despair.

   (See BB 162:1)

     On talking to a man there, I would be

amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design

for living that works in rough going.  

   We commenced to make many fast friends and a fel-

lowship has grown up among us of which it is a won-

derful thing to feel a part. The joy of living we really

have, even under pressure and difficulty.

   (See BB 133 top)

  

  THE joy of living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step, and

  action is its key word. Here we turn outward toward our

  fellow alcoholics who are still in distress. Here we experi-

  ence the kind of giving that asks no rewards. Here we begin

  to practice all Twelve Steps of the program in our daily

  lives so that we and those about us may find emotional so-

  briety. When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication,

  it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price

  tag on it.

   T&T 106  Step Twelve

 

      I have seen

hundreds of families set their feet in the path that

really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible

domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all

sorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums

and resume a vital place in the lives of their families

and communities. Business and professional men have

regained their standing. There is scarcely any form of

trouble and misery which has not been overcome

among us. In one western city and its environs there

are one thousand of us and our families. We meet fre-

quently so that newcomers may find the fellowship

 

 16  BILL’S STORY

 

they seek. At these informal gatherings one may often

see from 50 to 200 persons. We are growing in num-

bers and power.

   An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature.

Our struggles with them are variously strenuous,

comic, and tragic.

   (See BB 123:4)

         One poor chap committed suicide

in my home. He could not, or would not, see our way

of life.

   There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all.

   (See BB 132:1, 152:1)

I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming

worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is

deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four

hours a day in and through us, or we perish.

   (See BB 132:2)

   Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia.

We have it with us right here and now. Each day my

friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in

a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to

men.

  Bill W., co-founder of A.A.,

  died January 24, 1971